Musings of a Being

M emories of winter always brings an intense feeling of cold.. my winter memories, i dont know, winter in Mumbai is not all that cold, but still when i was very young, that is when i was studying in primary school n all, i used to get up early inn the morning, like around 5:30 or 6:00 am. n i remember getting out of the bed being the hardest thing to do. it was so cozy in the bed, u know, those thick blankets, warm bed, fluffy n cozy pillow to hug, shut windows. i used to keep the fan running. i kinda needed to have it running on the ceiling. was addicted to the noise it makes. so when mum used to come n turn off the fan n switch on those lights, it was an uncomfortable, sad n irritated feeling. but then i would drag myself out of bed. n if at all my hand rubbed on the cold walls of the room, it was like a cold-jolt, giving goosebumps all over. i kind of miss all that now. going to bath was another hard part. water was so cold. still i would get naked, holding a cup of chilling cold...

A blog post after a long time...a very long time period of doing nothing except eating, sleeping, shitting n watching movies...i cant actually believe that I have watched almost all the hollywood action movies ever released...now that could be more like an exaggeration but when i check those torrent sites to download movies, i hardly find anything new... so now at 5:04am on the 27th of july 2010 am sleepless and am typing out this blog post...just about something that struck me after watching the movie titled CITY OF ANGELS... So the movie was awesome...about an angel coming down to earth and leaving behind his heavenly life to be with his love....so many awesome scenes in the movie...left me thinking how much we miss in life...how less we value the virtues given to us...how less we think...how much we neglect the fact that there is so much to explore and so much to know...like when was it last time you actually enjoyed someone's touch...when was it...

The residential complex where i stay is newly built...REGENCY ESTATES...its a huge complex...actually it's built in an area where there was nothing earlier...so the area behind it is vast...kinda foothills...i sometimes go there with rasik...its a nice place there...all green n all...looks like a huge lawn with the same green hue stretching far...looks beautiful...no trees, no plants...just a stretch of grass and maybe an occasional shrub popping out somewhere in between...but then, this is Mumbai...and i feel that construction is like the basic reaction in the city's heart that keeps it alive....and the same thing is happening with this green stretch also...standing in my balcony, i see trucks and land movers going there on the temporary kachcha roads made by these heavy vehicles moving to and fro…the air gets all dusty when these vehicles move…it’s hard to breath standing in the balcony with all the dust blown up your nose…and the work keeps going all round the clock… ...

Dont keep wondering reading those words...thats not greek or french or anything...these are the names of places where i stay in kerala...kuttipuram is the rly station where i get down when am going home..its in malappuram district...i've heard its the main rly sdtation in the whole of the district...i dont know for sure...just heard somewhere...you know, the whole station is curve shaped...as in its C-shaped..from one end to another...cool, no??? kuttipuram is the main town there...lots of shops, stalls and huge crowd, with a very big bus stand with buses going to every major cities near-by, taxi stand, rickshaw stand, newspaper stalls and what not..the whole place has a lively smell of daily native trades and transport...huge crowds of people buying stuff...selling stuff...waiting for buses and those ambassador taxis...the whole place is always busy when i go there...if a have huge luggages with me, i usually hire a rickshaw home which costs almost 100bucks or a bus from ther will...

you know...when you dont get anything you want...you feel that it is the best thing that you've ever wanted to have...and when you've got it, you look for the next one...its like how the old proverb goes you know..."you wont know the value of eyes as long as you have them"...happens with everyone...when i was away from kerala...staying in mumbai...i used to think that kerala is the best place on earth...good people...my native land, fresh air, open roads, smell of the soil and farms, the tall coconut trees and all that...now staying at coimbatore, when i visit kerala frequently, i feel that mumbai is the best place to be...here in mumbai, i used to crib about the pollution and noise and the crowd and every damn thing that i used to come across...but now, when am away, i long for all that...down there in kerala theres no life...nothings happenning...life is always lazy...and...i dunno...its a "native-dull-life"...i want the polluted air of mumbai, the busy ro...

coimbatore.... this is one place that changed mah life forever...vaccations after mah entrance exams had almost cum to an end and mah frenz were looking for engg colleges...now engg was too difficult for me and i wanted to study something dint have any of these physics derivation shit and maths formulas stretching for pages..so naturally the option that was left for me was BMM..Bachelor in Mass Media..i applied in a few colleges in mumbai and my name was in the first or second list of these colleges..but before they had called up for admissions i had already packed mah bags to Coimbatore...to one of the leading colleges of the country for ENGG and MBA..they had opened a branch for B.A. in Mass Communication..i had attended the interview and was selected...now i wantred to stay in hostel..main treason i hated being at home...my house has never been peaceful and i never felt good being at home...second...thanx to chetan bhagat and many other siuch writers whose writings found way into my...

back again... kerala is one of my many favourite places on earth..the greenery that comes to mind first when i think of my native place is what attracts me to kerala. i havent travelled anywhere much...i've gone to kerala...chennai for intership...banglore on holidays..tirupathi in andhra for 12 hours and thats it...my travelling ends there...never got a chance to go around much...so it is my evertime dream to go around the country...watch people and enjoy nature as i go around...i dont know if that will be possible...but i am seriously interested in it...there's so much to explore and so much to learn..i love this country...its so vast and wide and there's so much to see...so much so that maybe one lifetime wont be enough to know this country closely.. i dont think anywhere else on the planet can you u see so much of diversity in a single country...but times are changing and the country too is...never have i felt that it is for good...duuno y... i think mebbe i cant look a...

Hmmm....so here i begin..new as a blogger...with no idea of what to write...or rather what to blog...i dont know why i created a page in here when i knew i would be left blank...looking at the plain space on the screen which reads TYPE YOUR TEXT HERE...just the way i am always when i need to take any major...or in that case...any decisions in life...i dont know about others, but i get confused about what am i gonna chose when there are options in front of me...and most of the time my choice is random...never thinking the about consequences, never thinking about others related to it and mainly..not even thinking about myself...its something that comes from inside me...i guess somewhere inside me there is this person who is afraid of choosing, afraid of decisions, afraid of consequences and everything that the choice is related to. its this fear that makes me choose stuff randomly...because i am afraid that if i take a decision after lots of thinking and analysing (which i am bad at) and...